We didn’t go to Adelaide in August, and we definitely didn’t go to celebrate a 29th birthday. Also, we definitely did not stay in an amazing Airbnb on a farm in the Adelaide Hills.

I’m offended you would even suggest it.

There definitely weren’t chickens. And there definitely weren’t cows.

I guarantee you we didn’t go to Hahndorf and eat cheese and drink beer and wine and try on silly hats. And we definitely didn’t go to the top of a mountain.

Why would you even think that we went on a wine tour?

We assure you we didn’t find a koala or three.

And even if any of these things happened, I reckon it would have been pretty shit anyway.